“.... AND FROM THIS MOMENT PLEASE IN MORE DETAIL !”

“…. AND FROM THIS MOMENT PLEASE IN MORE DETAIL !” I keep the blog with the help of my Norwegian husband. If it were not for his skill and knowledge of computers, I would hardly have bothered and written my “memoirs.”

Once he asked what I write about. I even got confused; you cannot answer that in two words at once. I started saying that they are memories of the past, of my parents, of my homeland. “And have you written anything about our family?” — “Yes, but without particular details, as they say, I didn’t ‘air the dirty linen.’” He was even slightly surprised that there is nothing shameful in writing about jointly lived moments in relations with his daughters.

Yes, precisely with the daughters. With my husband, from the start, very companionable relations formed, and they continue to be so. Today’s anonymous post in an FB group pushed me to write more fully about what I lived through… A subtitle even came to mind: “MY first FIVE-YEAR PLAN in Norway.”

I have already written that the “live” meeting took place in Kiev; I met Ivan at Boryspil airport on 3 November 2010. Before that we talked every day on Skype, starting from 25 September. He told and wrote in detail about his family, who his parents were (mama is Swedish, papa is Norwegian), two younger brothers (both married to foreigners), and that his wife (also a foreigner) had left him with two daughters, who at that time were 13 and 15. And he had already been alone for 8 months, and his wife had flown to live in Spain, and she was “not alone” there.

Then I thought: well, how interesting, we were both left by our first spouses, we each have two children (my sons were already quite grown and independent then), and in our first marriages we had been for the same number of years — 14. Ivan flew in for 4 days; the daughters stayed home alone. I, of course, doubted and worried how he could leave the house, the dog, the cat for as many as four days without supervision. I asked him, maybe the neighbours could help? And what was the daughters’ reaction to his temporary departure? He reassured me that the daughters had their own interests and would manage perfectly well alone and without the neighbours’ help.

Aha. Not so fast! As soon as he found himself in Kiev, the elder daughter started calling him and writing SMS, asking about all sorts of small breakdowns: the lights went out, where is the fuse box in the house, what to feed the dog, the internet was acting up, and so on. Ivan calmly, imperturbably answered both on the phone and wrote detailed SMS of “what, where, when.”

Our four days together flew by quickly. The November days turned out very warm and sunny, which helped long walks around the city, and also a cultural outing to the Opera and Ballet Theatre. We took joint photographs. By the way, joint photos were very important for us as proof of our real-life meeting, and not just a virtual acquaintance. In those times, for me, a Ukrainian citizen, it was not very simple to fly to a distant country to a “man known from the internet.” You needed material evidence, namely joint photos, to open a tourist-guest visa for 3 months at the Norwegian embassy in Kiev.

On arriving in Norway, Ivan at once made out an official invitation, certified by the police, on a special form, and sent it by ordinary post. Every day we continued to talk on Skype. I think about two weeks passed waiting for the post, and still no invitation. Then Ivan made a new invitation and sent it by express post with delivery. A day later a courier handed it to me, and, having gathered all the papers, at the appointed time I went to the embassy to submit the documents.

And yes indeed! Through the glass I was asked what I intended to do from 15 December, in winter, in Norway, and for a whole three months at that?! I answered that I was going to visit a friend who is a single father, to spend Christmas and New Year as a family, and after the holidays to go to courses in Norwegian. I remember the visa was issued quickly. And on 15 December 2010 I flew toward a new life in the prosperous country of Norway!