Norway

To be honest, I did not know the meaning of this word; it seemed to me it was a delicacy. It turns out that every year before Christmas, tin cans are sold in Norway, prettily and festively packaged. And so, sometime in the pre-Christmas days, my Norwegian husband said almost solemnly that for breakfast we would eat anchovies. And I at once became solemnly curious. He opens this little tin, and what do I see: cleaned sprat, spicy-cured, without the head. With the sprat my husband boiled soft-boiled eggs and made little sandwiches. ...

When we lived in a house, every year before Christmas my husband would buy a real beauty of a Christmas tree. We would drive into town as a family, choose “the prettiest” little tree, and… the holiday would begin. In the last two years, having moved into a new little apartment, we decided to buy an artificial tree at IKEA and thereby simplified our troubles. I might not have developed this theme now, but I was struck by a report, again on the Norwegian news. And I think it happened in our region. Something about the place seemed very familiar to me. ...

I hasten to tell everyone who is reading that the vicious fox that attacked the child has been caught and shot. Ten hunters took part in the operation! On the news they showed the result — ten hunters standing around a tiny little ginger fox that had been shot. The next shot was of the injured baby, who was cheerfully crawling on the wooden floor of the house. Two scratches were visible on his face. ...

I have already written that I have a habit of watching Norwegian news on NRK (the Norwegian TV channel). So yesterday they showed an outrageous case that I have to write about. A child lying in a pram was bitten by a fox. The child’s father managed to grab the fox by the muzzle, and the bite was apparently not deep (they showed the child on TV). Specialists suppose the animal was sick. But as I understood it, they did not catch this fox. ...

There is such an old saying. I understand it thus: when they send a person somewhere far, i.e. they punish. Three weeks ago, in a rainy dark autumn, I experienced such a trip myself. And it was like this: it was Saturday, my stepdaughter called and asked to take her boyfriend to prison in the evening. He had come on a visit to her for one day, on Saturday morning, and in the evening he had to be delivered back. I have already written that my husband always comes to the help of his children and not only, especially when it concerns travel by car. He asked me whether I would go with him. Of course! I am always interested in new routes in Norway! We looked at the map, somewhere “inland,” 170 km one way. ...

There was no great desire to watch the news today. So I decided to do something household-useful — take out the rubbish in the evening. And at the same time breathe some sea air. I came back quickly, and the news is still broadcasting. I think, all right, I’ll “wave” a little more with my favourite household weapon, brought from the distant homeland, a broom, “lightly.” In general I stretched… and here my gaze and hearing sharpened by the TV… ...

I answer: “Uh-huh.” — “And what is it like?” — “Like Danish. Only they do not understand each other.” I have been asked such a question more than once, so I decided to write a little about the language I have been studying for already 7 years, living in Norway. I do not regret that I went to language courses. For me it was an “entrée into Society,” new acquaintances, friends, events. ...

Several years ago I regularly looked through local newspapers, read advertisements, advertising. And in that way improved my knowledge of Norwegian. And once I came upon such an advertisement: “Velkommen til fengsel!” Well, I think, we have lived to see it, they invite you to prison. At first I thought it was for work. Then I look, and a little below are placed photos of wooden furniture: chairs, benches, little tables, a cradle, a wooden toy dump truck. Clearly there was a workshop in the prison and they needed to sell the products. That is how they advertised it. ...

I thought here and myself defined and named my phobia — a Phobia of heightened responsibility for a child’s life. Of course, I myself am “to blame” for my acquisition, and the conditions of life, it seems, contributed to this before arriving in Norway. So then, having come on practice to a Norwegian kindergarten, this phobia “received an exacerbation”! (at last I understood this now, what happened to me). Instead of three months of practice under a signed contract, I held out only three weeks. I can describe only a few “harmless examples” of my “quick reaction to a situation.” ...

So then about practice in Norway. Many, newly arrived, get it in kindergartens. If the director of the kindergarten agrees to take you on practice, then NAV pays for it. You work a full working day of 7.5 hours and receive 300 kroner for these 7.5 hours. (30 euros). Of course joyful! Not bad language practice, communicating with the kiddies. And the main thing with a prospect of permanent work. And it is very important that the kindergarten is municipal, so in the future there is social security and I can even earn a Norwegian pension in 10 years! (that is what I thought). Much later I learned that to get a Norwegian pension one needs to have worked 40 years in Norway. ...